Shakespeare Hates Your Emo Poems This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

November 14, 2011
Shakespeare hates me.
Honestly. He does.
“How artfully thine has twisted
and poisoned,
how skillfully thine has polluted my tongue,
and blistered and boiled with an articulate witch's brew,
what I wielded like an ink-soaked (albeit feminine) sword!”

Yes, Willy, I cuss like I use toothpaste.
Don't hate me.
“I am amused by the sinful way I am a
blossoming muse.
I am no one's back-alley knitting partner –
I am a man!
Who are thee to deny me my craft?
Sweet vermin maid, I left my Anne more than the bed.”

Oh, Bill! Seriously.
I'm a wayward daughter seeking approval.
Love me?
No?
“Ha! Your laughable similarity to Satan,
sweet heavens, save the angels stained by blunt vulgarity!
What is a miss but to be loved and wed?
Anne's sweet tongue got her more than
the bed!”

My words are tributes, minstrel father!
Just one nod over the morning paper.
Don't hate me.
“I love you like I love the one who
burns my chapel,
I beg that you see the way
your day and age has stained my name!
I forgive you, demon of the gates, for
your honesty.
Honestly. Begone with thee and I leave
you the second best bed.”

I'd rather be the guest.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Deliah This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 3, 2012 at 11:03 pm
I like how when  you were poking fun at Shakespeare and writing as if you were talking to him that was the poem.
 
Ariel_Greyse This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 19, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Thanks! It was. It was a commentary on how Shakespeare would react to the way his poems are used and understood today.
 
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