The Knife

November 4, 2011
By thoughtfulsoul PLATINUM, El Cajon, California
thoughtfulsoul PLATINUM, El Cajon, California
25 articles 0 photos 49 comments

The deeper it gets,
The more I cry.
The deeper it gets,
I feel more alive.
The deeper it gets,
The more I die.
The deeper it gets,
I feel calmer inside.

My own blood
Sliding down
as an echo of tears
Isn’t enough to shock me awake.
Where am I?
How long has it been?
How did I get here?

The knife is my enemy,
The knife is my friend,
The knife is my shame,
The knife is my bed.

The knife is my own two hands,
Fingers the handles,
Nails the blade.

The reality I cradle
And cry myself to sleep
to every night
As I slowly disappear and fade


The author's comments:
If there is someone out there who thinks they have a skin picking problem, trust me you are not alone. Dermatillomania is the proper name for this compulsive skin picking disorder. I have not been professionally diagnosed with it, but I believe I do have it. For the longest time I wouldn't admit it to myself. But now I am finally ready to share my problem.

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