I Lose Myself

These rooms they have no windows
Stifling
No fresh air
I’m glued, glued to the seat
Legs sticking sweatily to unforgiving plastic
A film over my body
Trapping me
I can’t breathe

The white is blinding
Head pounding out the rhythm
Of a massacred heart
High pitched tones ringing
In my eardrums
Nothing can pierce the silence

I’m drowning, drowning in spit
Tongue plastered to the roof of my mouth
Afraid to swallow
Terrified to do anything
The smell of toxins is remembered
And suddenly that’s all I can smell

The tears burn my eyes an irritated red
Throat closing beyond my control
Chest constricted
Breathing ragged

I am losing my mind in the nothingness
I am losing myself in the blackness
I lose myself





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