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Summer

with one last bell,
the girls are emancipated, but
still chained to this destitute town.
now they extend their summer arms,
and throw their heads back,
eyes closed and hearts open.


with squinty eyes,
the dazed boys wake and
only half-remember the paths
they traced through town last night
with their summer legs

the swelter is stifling, but
we stumble out into the heat,
swap summer smiles,
and drag our feet on cracked concrete.
as the fog clings to our street.
we zip up our summer skins,

so bittersweet.



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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

DaylightDarkness said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I like it, I'm not entirely sure what to think.. but thus far I've read it three times and it still holds my attention, so very well done!
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm
This is lovely. I absolutely love the last line! i love the words you choose to use in your poems. SO unique and interesting! Wonderful job. I can really see life through your eyes. Talent! :) i wish stuff like this made it into the magazine! Not all teenagers like to write about drugs, love, and wanting freedom, or whatever. If the magazine wasn't eespecially looking for that kind of stuff. I AM SURE that the poems i have read of your, especially church and summer, will have made ... (more »)
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm
I guess the last two lines are my favorite. I like the line zip up our summer skins.
 
yellowflower said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 10:55 am
I love the words you use in your poems and the rhythm that they create the alliteration  of s throughout the whole poem ties it together so well! I also love the topic and reading it makes me feel like summer is just starting rather than just ending- i wish!! :)
 
ohheyyyelli said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 10:50 am

Had to reread this one as well to get the flow (maybe it's just because I'm watching a lifetime movie at the same time...lol..). I really loved the lines "now they extend their summer amrs, and throw their heads back"  "they traced through town last night with their summer legs" "we zip up our summer skins". But I think maybe you should change the line "swap summer smiles", I like the repetition of the word summer, but I don't like it in that lin. Try using a summer-y adjective, i dont k... (more »)

 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 10:51 am
Whoa, why is my text like doubled lol? Sorry about that
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 2:39 am
Beautiful! I could imagine everything going on in this. Excellent work! :)
 
julian This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 12:43 am
Wow, this poem was beautifully written , and it had a distinct and steady flow, which made reading it even more entertaining. This wasn't one of those "summer sunshine" poems that are extremely cliched, this one was unique and original and I am surprised that I am the only one who has commented on your piece so far! It certainly deserves more attention, and I sincerely think it should be published. Great job with this one, you just earned 5 stars!
 
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