I always want to hear his sweet voice. His words heal my wounds. I want to talk to him always, but when it's him calling i find i have nothing to say. I just want to listen to him talk all day and not have to say anything back. I want to listen to his stories of heartbreak and happiness but he always expects me to be the talkative one. I have been quiet my whole life, never once being one to start a conversation. I've been told that i'm quiet by many, they always back it up with, "Being quiet isn't a bad thing." But in my life it is. Conversations at the dinner table, i always feel left out, i never have anything to add. I talk with him for hours on the phone but it's never much more than him trying to make me laugh or saying i love you and i miss you back and forth. My words on paper i'm told are great but why do they never come to me when i need them most? Even while conversing with my friends i fail to have something interesting to say. I feel like an outsider, watching everyone else, but i find that it calms me, to watch from afar instead of being involved in everything. I've always been quiet and i guess i always will be. I'll always be the silent watcher.
The Silent Watcher
August 8, 2011