Slaving Without Redemption

July 30, 2011
By PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments

It is a messenger
To the most prestigious of all royalties
Cloaked in velvet and decked out in honor
Awaiting fate dutifully

It is a stew
Boiled, sometimes overcooked
Mixed with savory secrets
Mouth watering but heart-stomping

It is a butterfly
Floating free and endless
Anomalous in its own right
Ambitions tickling the stars

It is a ball of yarn
Comforting yet bursting with expectations
Unraveling utmost beauty
And spun into the colors of the world

It is a puppy
Stumbling around aimlessly
Packed with life and life's energy
Hope singing in its name

It is silent, ordinary even
Cowering under the manipulative depth of another
So precious yet underrated

It is my pen
Iced and stiff
Revealing. Still tender on my bleak skin
Slaving without redemption


The author's comments:
When I came to an author's block, I decided to write about it. And this is the product.

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This article has 18 comments.


on Aug. 22 2011 at 2:05 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Oh my God, this is AWESOME! I'm adding it to my favorites, your word choice is superb! 5/5!

on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:07 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

WHat great word choice! This poem is sooo good. I've read alot of poems about writer's block just because, well, when they get writer's block that is what they wind up writing about!, but this poem was different in a perfect way.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 6:27 pm
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stay golden"
- Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

Shabam :D Great work. Your words do what they're told! 

on Aug. 18 2011 at 10:56 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

Good job this is a great piece of work.

on Aug. 18 2011 at 9:37 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Wow. This is so nicely written! The poem flows so nicely, and I feel like each word contributes to the flow and beauty of the poem.

on Aug. 16 2011 at 2:26 pm
Kev-Girl SILVER, Plymouth, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a maybe. Death is for sure. Sin is the cause. Christ is the cure. :)

Love is the breath of God, and prayer is the melody that makes it sing.

If you cant annoy someone, there's no point in writing.

Love is overrated, marry for money.

hey! good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Aug. 14 2011 at 8:40 pm
Regs_the_Shorty GOLD, Frankfort, Illinois
13 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are people who finish what they start and.....

I thought it was extremely good!

on Aug. 13 2011 at 5:03 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 565 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I really really do like this poem!  You should check out some of my others please!  I love how your pen is cold and stiff, but that's only what it is physically, it's also all these other things.

on Aug. 13 2011 at 4:05 pm
TwasBrilling BRONZE, Staunton, Va, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk" -H.W. Hegel

"Words are our most inexhaustable source of magic' -Albus Dumbledore

This is definately one of my favorite poems that I have read here on teenink. Your metaphors ring true, and are beautifully sewn together! Congrats!

on Aug. 13 2011 at 4:05 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
The whole poem is describing a pen and what it feels and how it feels to me.

on Aug. 13 2011 at 2:41 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Wow, this is amazing! I love your word choice. Great job! :)

on Aug. 13 2011 at 1:41 pm
divingforreality GOLD, Fontana, California
10 articles 7 photos 18 comments

It's as if you are moving forward with all these things around you, whether they be worth living for or worth dying for.

I'm not sure...

But I love the structure and vocabulary.


Aisuu GOLD said...
on Aug. 13 2011 at 12:58 pm
Aisuu GOLD, Colleyville, Texas
15 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This is pretty, but it's kind of hard to figure out.  It doesn't really say what it's talking about.

on Aug. 12 2011 at 11:52 pm
worldchanger BRONZE, Marianna, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Its not about black and white because we are human i hope we see the light before its ruined

i really like it and the great vocabulary you used can you please check out my song "a song for my love" its not like your average love song 

Dark_Mind GOLD said...
on Aug. 12 2011 at 10:32 pm
Dark_Mind GOLD, Little Rock, Arkansas
11 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sounds like a Personal Problem."

I loved this poem.! My favorite part had to be the Ending. Wonderful.

on Aug. 12 2011 at 9:14 pm
XxMidnightKissxX SILVER, Hardinsburg, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love me or hate me, I don't care which, just don't try and change me.

This is really, really good. :)

on Aug. 12 2011 at 9:13 pm
blitsnik SILVER, Palm Bay, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you must mount the gallows, give a coin to the headman, a jest to the crowd, and meet the drop with a smile on your lips."

I like the poem itself, the structure is good. but i cant really comprehend what it is all about, and i dont understand how the title fits. It got a good flow however. keep up the writing. :)

on Aug. 12 2011 at 12:48 pm
HannSawyer15 BRONZE, North Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I say... lets speak it. Lets fight it. Lets write it. There's nothing to hold on to if it's already gone."

I really really liked this! I loved your 3rd stanza. Especially when you say "And spun into the colors of the world" it paints a picture in my head. Nice job and keep writing! :)


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