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Dysfunctional

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I did it.
The unthinkable.
I said yes,
to that boy.
I said yes to do the one thin I knew I wouldn't.
Th guilt,
unbearable,
the way I changed,
I'm not Madi anymore.
That girl I used to be,
before the pain,
and the hurt,
and the uncertainty,
is here inside somewhere,
deep down.
Locked away
in a place,
where the key is lost.
I can't be that girl anymore
because I said yes.
"If you love someone, it's ok," right?
Does that take away the guilt?
Or the pain?
Or the feeling of dirty,
of a liar,
and of ugly?
Dysfunctional?
Does it numb the dull disappointment
of my first,
at age fourteen,
in my room,
with that boy?
Dirty.
Liar.
Dysfunctional.
That's all I am.
Because I said yes.



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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

BreeTayler This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:33 pm
wow... completely realistic! it was... amazing:) in the sad, relatable kind of way... fantastic work.
 
Reader101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 7:10 am
well i would hope its realistic! true story!;)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Ohh wow...I felt like I was reading something written about me. I hope you can't relate to this. It's good though!
 
Reader101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 7:15 am
unfortunatly i can relate to this... its completely true and completely recent... :'(
 
Reader101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I hope YOU cant relate to this... :/
 
Panirap replied...
Aug. 16, 2011 at 5:09 pm

AMAZING..JUST AMAZING. i love, love, love this! the emotions were very well portrayed here.

do u think u can check out some of my stuff as well?!?!?!

pl keep writing!!!

 
aspiringdreamer replied...
Aug. 16, 2011 at 7:29 pm
This was flawless! I can't relate to this poem but I loved your phrasing and feel for the words, you are a really great poet!
 
Reader101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:22 am

Panirap- thank you!:)and im always glad to check out more writing!:) consider it done.

 

aspiringdreamer- Thanks for all that!:) I'm glad you liked it and im glad you cant relate!:) Haha I wrote this at a retreat I went to and showed it to my cabin leader and she basicly sat down on the couch and cryed....... I didnt know it was that sad to everyone else I guess...

 
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