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why i can't sleep

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My eyes fill with tears; they warm my face from starvation
Sliding down my cheek, a rhythm of perfection, they are truly my own.
Shivering, I run as fast as I can.
I feel the air as it rush into my face, and then suddenly he caught up with me.
My feelings of escaping all disappear at once.
I blame my feet for they shouldn’t have given up.
Make up stings past my eye lids, when he pushes me down, everything turns to grey as I hit the ground.
I can’t hear any more, every word that he said.
Things disappear, leaving only red; lights shining my misery from miles away reminds me my scares are here to stay.
Why won’t they hear me, and follow my screams.
He’s hurting me, listen! Just open your eyes, I plead with my mind just to keep me alive.
I love you please, don’t do this to me you said you were done, just let me breathe.
I still remember how, but it’s harder now,
What’s right or wrong from the things that he’s saying? my will to live is constantly fading
The nightmares he gave me are real visions of horror
He gave them to me as he screamed; he won’t even let me sleep, because that would resort without his
Victory. Hold me like you used to, when you said I was your world.
Now you just slam me against the floor.
Call me a w**** scream your words out loud, I’m already misery bound
Stop believing there lies, kill the demons they created just don’t let me die
I pleaded with him, he wouldn’t listen to me
His anger took over; he did things to me, which would haunt me forever
The memorize he gave to me, are so vivid when I close my eyes
Ill scream as I push you, ill curse your name but in the end I’m the one who feels ashamed
I know they hear me, while I’m screaming for help.
They think it’s a joke or they enjoy my hell.
Probably the second one for they made me this way, there the reason why I let him stay
I should have left the first time that he hit me; instead I stayed just long enough for him to kill me
Metaphorically speaking I’m already dead
Not sleeping for days from the nightmares he gave me, when I slit my wrist will it finally save me
Holding myself to feel less of the pain, I bet he’s already forgotten my name
The pills I took in the middle of the night, were to let me sleep
And never wake up, for that was my dream.
Fight fire with fire against myself, because it was I who discovered this hell.
A place with no one, without hopes of dreams, is the only thing he ever gave to me
My family found me broken, they needed me fixed, I went to a hospital and that’s where I lived
Now I’m out, new school different peers, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to fear
When I relapse again, will they finally care? So I guess I am broken, but you would be too
If you witnessed the nightmares that he made come true.



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cheshirepwn said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I feel that this poem was incredibly sad, but amazing at the same time.  The tone it was written in, and the power it portrays is just breath taking to me.  You are an amazing artist of words and I cannot wait to read more of what is on your heart.
 
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