Words Lost

July 7, 2011
By AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments

I wish I could write
a perfect melody,
Where you can hear the beauty of a sunset,
And Sun, a heart,
Its rays caressing your face,
radiating to our minds, to our hearts,
rays embracing you a last time before night
when Sun is one with the earth,


one with the sky,


one with us.
And when Sun is gone,
you still feel its warmth and calmness lingering on your skin,
a heart’s effect.

I wish I could write
a perfect harmony,
Where the rain tip taps on my window,
pelting the ground with fury,
and you can hear the anger of the
lightning bolt as it tears through Darkness,
drum’s rolling, soldiers marching
to the tune of thunder,
Silence is no more.

I wish I could write
a perfect poem,
Where the music fills you,
simultaneously instilling a warmth
and infusing a coldness that tears through your being,
Making you lose feeling
from feeling so much.

But these are the moments
when words are lost.


The author's comments:
This poem expresses the difficulties and frustrations that I face when writing a poem. I want my poems to be like music so that my words express exactly what I feel and what I see and hear. "But these are the moments when words are lost."

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This article has 19 comments.


on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:57 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Thank you so much!!

on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:45 pm
Lilacs_Smell_Wonnerful PLATINUM, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
40 articles 2 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and watch everyone look at you in amazement. :)

I really like this! The imagery is vivid, and you can feel your emotions through it, even the first stanza alone is great. Nice work! :) -Lilac

on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:26 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
thank you! and yep no problem!

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:23 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
I really like it! The emotion comes through. Would you mind reading my poem A Pink Watch, Portal, and Perpetual Sea? Thank you!

on Dec. 16 2011 at 6:16 pm
daniskate416 BRONZE, Bristol, Rhode Island
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death."-Taylor Swift

I suggest you become a poet someday...

on Nov. 26 2011 at 9:51 pm
dontforget GOLD, Cortland, New York
15 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best things in life are left unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss, and dream."

First of all, I really admire your inclusion of melody and harmony, they made the lines flow well with help from your great imagery! One thing that seemed out of place for me was when you described the sun as being a heart. I found it difficult to imagine, and strange to think of a heart caressing you. Although I could feel the warm rays as the line went on, I think I would stick to perspnification when describing the sun, maybe a mother? Or something comforting like so. (:

on Nov. 26 2011 at 3:41 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

So true! I like how you use rain as a metaphor to music sort of and the music for a poem. A really smooth conection and good description throughout!

on Nov. 12 2011 at 12:15 pm
NadimAzar BRONZE, Beirut,
1 article 0 photos 10 comments
wow!a breathtaking poem..keep writing

on Nov. 5 2011 at 2:13 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
thank you so much!!

on Nov. 5 2011 at 11:40 am
ReadWriteBreathe PLATINUM, Pocatello, Idaho
24 articles 4 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you" Tyler Durden Fight Club

Wow this is really good. You describe everything so well. I love how you describe the sun, it was like I felt the heat of the sun on me. Good work.

on Aug. 27 2011 at 11:32 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Thank you so much!!!!

on Aug. 27 2011 at 11:23 pm
Jessi_suarez1 GOLD, Kissimmee, Florida
16 articles 0 photos 98 comments
wow this is a impressive piece i must say. very well constucted. to be honest i loved it. job well done :)

on Aug. 27 2011 at 12:09 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Thanks so much! That's exactly what I was going for!! :)

on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:16 pm
backyardheart BRONZE, Cape Coral, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too sad."
---Kurt Cobain

This is great! I think you clearly expressed what every writer experiences when they are challenged with trying to write and wanting it to be a masterpiece. The imagery of the rain really emphasizes the emotional process when faced with such a challenge and the last stanza embodies that desired feeling- but the last lines give the reader the impression that words are still lost, and the masterpiece is yet to be written.

Although, this is a masterpiece in itself!


on Aug. 25 2011 at 5:12 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Thank you so much! It's funny because that spacing happened by accident when i submitted the poem. Those three lines were originally supposed to be centered by themselves, but I guess this spacing worked out, too! And thank you for your critique!

on Aug. 25 2011 at 4:44 pm
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments
Wow.  This is a really interesting poem.  I think my favorite part about it is the line breaks between "earth/one with the sky/one with us"  I know that seems little, but it creates such interesting and original emphasis.  The only place that felt a little awkward to me was the line "simultaneously instilling a warmth" because something about it seemed too clinical and interrupted the flow.  But the rest is great and I really like the capitalization of "Sun" and the visual images of music

on Aug. 21 2011 at 9:56 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

Your welcome and keep writing

on Aug. 19 2011 at 10:15 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your critique! :)

on Aug. 18 2011 at 11:54 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

This Is one of my favorit poems I have read in a while. I really like how you showed music with images. The only thing I thought was a bit off was that" sun, and sunset, a heart" I'm not a good critique but it seemed to interupt the flow. Still it was a great poem


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