Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Words Lost

I wish I could write
a perfect melody,
Where you can hear the beauty of a sunset,
And Sun, a heart,
Its rays caressing your face,
radiating to our minds, to our hearts,
rays embracing you a last time before night
when Sun is one with the earth,


one with the sky,


one with us.
And when Sun is gone,
you still feel its warmth and calmness lingering on your skin,
a heart’s effect.

I wish I could write
a perfect harmony,
Where the rain tip taps on my window,
pelting the ground with fury,
and you can hear the anger of the
lightning bolt as it tears through Darkness,
drum’s rolling, soldiers marching
to the tune of thunder,
Silence is no more.

I wish I could write
a perfect poem,
Where the music fills you,
simultaneously instilling a warmth
and infusing a coldness that tears through your being,
Making you lose feeling
from feeling so much.

But these are the moments
when words are lost.



Join the Discussion

This article has 19 comments. Post your own now!

Lilacs_Smell_Wonnerful This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 4:45 pm
I really like this! The imagery is vivid, and you can feel your emotions through it, even the first stanza alone is great. Nice work! :) -Lilac
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Thank you so much!!
 
Ella1 said...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I really like it! The emotion comes through. Would you mind reading my poem A Pink Watch, Portal, and Perpetual Sea? Thank you!
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm
thank you! and yep no problem!
 
daniskate416 said...
Dec. 16, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I suggest you become a poet someday...
 
dontforget This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:51 pm
First of all, I really admire your inclusion of melody and harmony, they made the lines flow well with help from your great imagery! One thing that seemed out of place for me was when you described the sun as being a heart. I found it difficult to imagine, and strange to think of a heart caressing you. Although I could feel the warm rays as the line went on, I think I would stick to perspnification when describing the sun, maybe a mother? Or something comforting like so. (:
 
Im--NOT--RayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:41 pm
So true! I like how you use rain as a metaphor to music sort of and the music for a poem. A really smooth conection and good description throughout!
 
NadimAzar said...
Nov. 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm
wow!a breathtaking poem..keep writing
 
ReadWriteBreathe said...
Nov. 5, 2011 at 11:40 am
Wow this is really good. You describe everything so well. I love how you describe the sun, it was like I felt the heat of the sun on me. Good work.
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm
thank you so much!!
 
dark_armor1 said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 11:23 pm
wow this is a impressive piece i must say. very well constucted. to be honest i loved it. job well done :)
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Thank you so much!!!!
 
backyardheart said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 8:16 pm

This is great! I think you clearly expressed what every writer experiences when they are challenged with trying to write and wanting it to be a masterpiece. The imagery of the rain really emphasizes the emotional process when faced with such a challenge and the last stanza embodies that desired feeling- but the last lines give the reader the impression that words are still lost, and the masterpiece is yet to be written.

Although, this is a masterpiece in itself!

 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Thanks so much! That's exactly what I was going for!! :)
 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Wow.  This is a really interesting poem.  I think my favorite part about it is the line breaks between "earth/one with the sky/one with us"  I know that seems little, but it creates such interesting and original emphasis.  The only place that felt a little awkward to me was the line "simultaneously instilling a warmth" because something about it seemed too clinical and interrupted the flow.  But the rest is great and I really like the capitalization of "Sun" and the visu... (more »)
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Thank you so much! It's funny because that spacing happened by accident when i submitted the poem. Those three lines were originally supposed to be centered by themselves, but I guess this spacing worked out, too! And thank you for your critique!
 
MagicMan2011 said...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 11:54 pm
This Is one of my favorit poems I have read in a while. I really like how you showed music with images. The only thing I thought was a bit off was that" sun, and sunset, a heart" I'm not a good critique but it seemed to interupt the flow. Still it was a great poem
 
AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your critique! :)
 
MagicMan2011 replied...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Your welcome and keep writing
 
Site Feedback