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Each day, you’re wearing away
Your flesh and your fat; your mind and your soul
Pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are
Days spent counting calories and fighting them off
Until you are only a body, nothing to suggest there is
A person cradled inside of those frail bones
And what person starves them self of all happiness
in search of happiness?
You wake up, and repeat the actions, like a skeleton set on autopilot
Food; trash, fingers; throat, body; sweat, eyes; cry
There is nothing left of you;
You are a disorder



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jmccasanova88 said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 10:52 am:
I liked it it had great vision and detailed i can really picture it in my head
 
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xxlovinyouxx said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 11:46 am:
like the imagery and how u portrayed the ed, good job
 
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MoraleAsh said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 9:10 pm:
It's written so greatly that I can just see that person wearing away! Great job!
 
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akrreid said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm:
Oh my goodness. Your last line, "You are a disorder", is so powerful :) This is truly a great poem about a very serious topic... great job!
 
Snake_Tounge replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm :
Agree :) 
 
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HanndyJess444 said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:15 pm:
Amazing meaning, very deep and emotionful. Nice imagery and I really like lines 9&10 and the last line "You are a disorder". You wrote beautifully about such a tragic thing. Looking forward to more of your work!
 
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Vicky11 said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 11:24 am:
A very good poem, tackles a difficult issue very well, and I like all the imagery :)
 
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Alon_Freevoice said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 2:28 am:

I love, love, love how this is about starving and being 'skeleton'. :)))

Criticisms are already given so this is all I could say... I think.

 
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Jesusfreak78 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm:
P.S. trying to give contructive critism
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 5:29 pm :
thanks, i appreciate it[:
 
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Jesusfreak78 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm:
The word choice was excellant, the rythem was good, although try to improve your structure. Other than that prettey good
 
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samiasaskia24 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm:
WOW! Touching!  especially like the third line!
 
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Ashly said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm:
i love this, it's so relateable. i suffer from anorexia. would you please check out my article on the effects of anorexia on teens.
 
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Ashly said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 1:14 pm:
i love this its so relateable. i suffer fro an eating disorder would you read up on my article "the effects of anorexia on teens?"
 
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lockedkeytomyheart said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm:
Absolutely beautiful!
 
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Gigi142 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:59 am:
Love this piece! Very original. SO MUCH emotion! It was sad but true and it was truly an amazing piece of writing.
 
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Cryswithaly said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm:
I love this poem!! I think i'll favortie it.
 
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ritabelle511 said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm:
I think this is a fantastically written poem!  It's gripping and emotionally intense - I really like the ending (even though it's sad) because it totally works.
 
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TwasBrilling said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 9:52 pm:
I agree about the commas, but you really packed alot of emotion into this!!
 
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NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 11:18 pm:
The only criticism I have is your use of commas and semicolons in line ten. Other than that, love it!
 
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