The Same Sky

June 26, 2011
By Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments

Somewhere,
in a different city,
I'm sitting,
under a midnight sky,
watching the cars drive by,

and you're where you should be,
looking at the same sky as me.


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This article has 19 comments.


on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:34 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

Rissa02 SILVER said...
on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:14 pm
Rissa02 SILVER, California, Other
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Simple, but I really like this! It reminds me of when you travel somewhere new and think about what people are doing back home.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 9:25 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thank you!

on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:05 pm
callmebaddog SILVER, Spokane, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean

I read this a few times, it's not loaded with a lot of words. It still holds a bit of meaning though :)!

on Aug. 1 2011 at 2:54 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

on Aug. 1 2011 at 2:54 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks for the comment and advice. :)

Eirias SILVER said...
on Aug. 1 2011 at 11:07 am
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus

Very good!

 

I'm not sure why you broke the stanzas up like you did. If it was for emphasis, how about you add a period after "by," and capitalize "and"?

 

Also, I would suggest "just where" and "looking up." I think it places a tad more emphasis, and the extra syllables help to close it out. Honesty, the first time I read it, I added those words subconsciously.

 

Keep it up!


on Aug. 1 2011 at 10:27 am
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
I like the idea, its a nice thought. [:

on Aug. 1 2011 at 12:38 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

It's called Destiny :)

on Aug. 1 2011 at 12:33 am
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :D

on Aug. 1 2011 at 12:04 am
TheHangingGirl BRONZE, Winter Haven, Florida
1 article 1 photo 250 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poets utter great and wise things that they themselves can not comprehend."

Very good. Well written.

on Jul. 27 2011 at 11:48 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

on Jul. 27 2011 at 11:42 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

I love this. I often think the same exact thing. How everyone is different, yet we gaze at the same moon every night. It makes you feel a connection with every person on all continents of the Earth. It's a beautiful thing. What would happen if our world were like other planets that had several moons, and people in different parts of the world looked at a different moon? That would be weird! Just a thought! Good job!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 5:07 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

I feel this way too about a certain someone. Only thing is, we don't live in the same city! (That's going to change, though!)

Anagam BRONZE said...
on Jul. 9 2011 at 5:01 pm
Anagam BRONZE, Tulsa, Oklahoma
1 article 0 photos 339 comments
You are welcom and thanks :)))

on Jul. 8 2011 at 6:26 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thank you! Sure, I'll check yours out.

on Jul. 8 2011 at 6:25 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 8 2011 at 12:38 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

I like this poem a lot! So short and simple, yet it says so much :)

Anagam BRONZE said...
on Jul. 8 2011 at 9:24 am
Anagam BRONZE, Tulsa, Oklahoma
1 article 0 photos 339 comments

That's crazy! How people are so far away from each other but yet they share the sky.

I love this poem because I can relate.

5/5*

If you can please check out my work. Thanks.



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