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the moon light night

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Here again in the moon lit night
where wind is blowing
a girl is crying
her heart tonight
Her heart is paining
because she has been
hated and misunderstood again
She is a girl in her teen
getting scolding by her mom
she trys really hard
to make her mom happy and proud
like his brother does every time
This girl has been betrayed
by her friends
but then also she is good to them
They betrayed her
because she 's a very good girl
She is so shy
that she is crying in secracy
This girl is tired and broken tonight
like a butterfly with no wing
trying flying again




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This article has 33 comments. Post your own!

LetsPretend said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm:
This is really good, keep up the great job.The story sounded familiar but thats cuz I went through something like that too. It really does tell a story, love it=D 
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:10 am :
thanks a lotttttttttttttttt
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:11 am :
thanks a lottttttttttt =)
 
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ilovewriting95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm:
It is pretty good, but you might want to break it up into different stanzas.  Other than that good job! :)
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 3:50 am :
firstly i did but while coping i forgot can u tell me more what i could do to make it cool dont consider as it my first one :DDDDDDDDDDDDD and realllly thanks for commenting
 
ilovewriting95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm :
You are welcome and I think it is good just the way it is except for the spacing. You don't need to change it, it is already great! Good job! :)
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 10:38 am :
thanks forever
 
ilovewriting95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm :
You are welcome forever!! :D
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 5:24 am :
and super thanks forevr *infinity
 
ilovewriting95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 11:42 am :
totally! You are super duper welcome! <3 :D
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 4:01 am :
i have one poem in waiting i wanted to ask u do u write in a paper poems and stuffs or directly in laptop
 
ilovewriting95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 7:41 pm :
It depends on where I am. If I am at home then I usually just write it on word but if I'm on vacation or somewhere else then I write in a notebook. What about you?
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 19, 2011 at 3:49 am :
i always write in notebook i cant write or invent  in computer my thought process doesnot wrok in comp . and half of my work is lying in a notebook . i hate typing yuck and in notebook i can roam around i write .When ever i start writing in laptop i forget what i wanted to write you know......
 
sunshine04 replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:38 am :
the beauty killed the beast i have posted and its approved plz seen it and comment on it it willmean a lot to me and send it every one u know pppplzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
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