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I Let Him Go

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I sit in front of him
On the floor.

The moon is waxing
The stars are falling

And I'm making wishes
as they fall.

Every love song on the radio
Seems like it was meant for him.

And then I wish that I could sing
Something beautiful for him.

I wish he knew how much I love him.

I make mistakes;
I am not perfect.

Everything about me
is messed up.

The only thing that's right
is that I love him.

I may not prove it perfectly
I may not prove it often.

But I do indeed love him.

that's the only perfect thing about me
The only thing I can do right.

I love him.

So I sit before him
Like every night.

I sit before the wish
I make every time a star falls.

I imagine him holding me,
kissing me,
loving me.

I wonder if he thinks of it too.

I beg him to forgive me
That's all that I want.

But he can't forget
all the things that I've done wrong.

No matter what
I can't erase
The words I've said
The things I've done.

If I could turn back time
and erase all the scars,
all the reasons he can't trust me

I would.

But I can't.

And even if I could
I would still be imperfect.

So I get to my feet
and I walk away.

I walk away from those lips
I wish I could kiss,

I walk away from those hands
I wish I could hold,

Those magical eyes
I wish could see
The me that I wish to be.

But I can't try to be
Something I can never be.

There is a girl at the door
She's beautiful, she's perfect

I let her through.

He'll want to love her, hold her, kiss her.

Unlike me, her lips won't be stale.
Her hands won't be cold.

She'll be everything
I wish that I could.

I swallow everything that hurts too much.

I want to stop her, I want to convince him,
Beg some more.

"Forgive me, forgive me, I'll be like her."

But I am not the girl
He wants or needs

I'm just a child
Who will never get old

I love sincerely
And I give all of me

But I have my moments
where I get too giddy

Tell secrets that should be disclosed
Confess moments that should not be told

I love him so much
I want to tell the world

But he wants silence

Not a little girl
Who doesn't do as told

A little girl,
so sensitive,
so fragile

Too much to handle

Drama. Emotion.

He waits and he waits
but she won't grow old.

She'll stay forever
The same little girl.

She'll stay forever
The girl who's not her.

I close my eyes
as the door slams shut.

She kisses him, loves him
Awakes in the morning
to her hair around him.

I wish I were her.
I wish he wanted to kiss me, hold me, love me
as he does her.
This perfect girl.

But I remain imperfect.

Just a little girl
Who lets slip through her fingers
the heart not meant for her to hold.

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