never to be

May 21, 2011
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will i ever be good enough?
i really need to know
I'm tormented inside,
but i wont let it show
i try my hardest to make you happy,
make you proud.
but still I'm just yelled at, hit and put down
my whole life has been spent,
with suicide lurking on the edge,
i need you to tell me now so i don't loose the courage to put it to an end.
your harsh words cut into me,
thats what you intend
but you don't realize how
deep they went
this has continued longer than i can stand
i can never live up to all your demands
you have no clue the things i feel
I'm afraid the damage you've caused can never be healed
no matter what i do now
your voice is always in my head
there's only one way i can put it to an end
i used to believe it was other people who couldn't accept me
but it was always you and what you made me believe.
our relationship is abusive, and emotionally draining
its sad, thats all i know
i feel like another you in training
this has to stop but i know YOU never will (one more time and out comes the pills)
I'm hanging on by my last thread one more time and i swear I'm dead


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