look around

May 7, 2011
By , augusta, GA
look around you and see the years you've missed the birthdays the dates the broken hearts
look around and what do you see except for a broken heart child with a unspeakable past because of you
look around and see the daughter you left to help her self find her own daddy one who would say shes beatiful and smart
look around see my name on the door telling you that i have found my niche
look around at the hurt and the pain and ask yourself was "freedom" worth it ?





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Turbocharger said...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Kinda sad. I'm afraid I don't fully follow. Some punctuation would help miles.
 
idc-wat-they-think replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 3:54 pm
well it is what i feel sometimes when i think of my father thank you and yes i am working on improving my grammar
 
Pen2Paper said...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 5:50 am
This is really great. I love the personaliy in the poem. U can tell a lot of feeling has gone into it. do agree with CarrieAnn13 though, grammer and punctuation could do with some work.
 
DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm
i really like this. im sorry! by the way
 
idc-wat-they-think replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm
thanks pen and yes i have been working on that disiple thanks also and its not you fault dont apologize :) but thank you for the sympathy
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Excellent work! My only criticism is that even though this is a free verse poem, punctuation and proper capitalization are very important and appreciated. Other than that, I think this is a great poem. Keep writing! :)
 
idc-wat-they-think replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 5:34 pm
thank you and yes i know i mest up on grmmar lol but thank u still
 
Matice said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Great job! I enjoyed reading that. It was a very cute poem. :) If you have a spare minute, I'd be honored if you were able to take a look at some of my work. Feedback means a lot to me.
 
idc-wat-they-think replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 5:26 pm
thank you and i would love to send me the link and ill give you feedback :)
 
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