The Phone Call

May 6, 2011
By austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy


The sun streams in through
a dusty paned window.
He sits at a scratched plastic table,
his fingers drumming a pattern like
a heartbeat, gradually slowing.
A hummingbird flits near the open window,
his wings buzzing softly as he floats, seemingly
motionless.
Sharp golden rays glint off
the bird's stained glass feathers,
warning lights burning into the man's eyes.
The drumming slows to a single thud,
then silence.
The hummingbird floats away,
his buzzing deafeaning in the muffled quiet.
A shrill ringing pierces through the fog.
A tear glistens on the man's cheek as he
answers the phone with a heavy heart
because he knows he will never see her again.


The author's comments:
I wrote this for a creative writing class - we had to write a poem involving animal symbolism. Take it how you will!

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This article has 13 comments.


on Aug. 7 2011 at 1:08 am
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stay golden"
- Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

This is sad. And that makes it beautiful. You have a gift for the little things, like wings and butterpat suns that make up a whole world. Its great. 

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 11:28 am
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thank you very much! I appreciate the feedback :)

on Jul. 28 2011 at 12:10 am
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Another ambiguous piece with a heavy tone.  The imagery was really lovely in this one, especially with the humingbird's stained-glass wings.  You have such a knack for both honesty and prose- I'm jealous!

on Jul. 2 2011 at 12:10 am
Reader101 PLATINUM, Amarillo, Texas
42 articles 4 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it." -Andrew Clark(The Breakfast Club)

"Lack of format? Not possible in my opinion. Writing is an art, therefore you do you what you want." -b_gomez114

No problem!:)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 1 2011 at 3:49 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Well thank you! It's always nice to hear that!

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 1 2011 at 3:49 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thanks very much for reading and commenting :)

on Jun. 28 2011 at 7:26 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 379 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

I loved this! I love the way you write, poems and fiction. (: You are really very talented!

on Jun. 28 2011 at 6:36 pm
Reader101 PLATINUM, Amarillo, Texas
42 articles 4 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it." -Andrew Clark(The Breakfast Club)

"Lack of format? Not possible in my opinion. Writing is an art, therefore you do you what you want." -b_gomez114

I loved it! It's simple but it really pulls me in... I could imagine every line in my head as I read it. Keep writing! :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 6:08 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thank you! :)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 6:07 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Thanks very much!

on Jun. 26 2011 at 3:18 pm
freeflow23 GOLD, Durham, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
Saul saw Goliath as too big to kill. David saw he was too big to miss.
W.W.J.D.

Amazing! You really help the reader feel the emotion portrayed. I even teared up a bit when the man cried. Love it!

BillM GOLD said...
on Jun. 26 2011 at 2:50 pm
BillM GOLD, JACKSONVILLE, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 26 comments
Definitely a tense poem.  You had me reading closely the whole time, imagining everything.  Gripping work, once again rita.

on Jun. 16 2011 at 11:51 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Awww that is kinda' sad!  Very good job!!!


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