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Charm The Lady

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At long last, a night to us my dear,
a time of love if that is, if that is,
what any sound minded individual may dare call it.
Such a pause, an invitation of silence,
you must be expecting a compliment or something.
Am I really to extol you this evening?
Darling, your hair smells of mucus
and some foreign substance
of which there is no naming.
And that dress is rather loud of you.
perhaps you could turn it down a notch,
it just so happens I'm already hard of hearing
In speaking of impairment of the senses-
I was nearly blinded by those ridiculous braces of yours
you should try a tad bit harder,
maybe you'll get it next time.
Those ruffles remind me of some unsightly
man-eating prehistoric flower,
that I am unwilling to fetch water for.
I do love your hair,such a vivid outstanding red,
like the spaghetti my mother is refusing to clean
from my recently cleaned newly waxed imported tile floor.
( in maybe less of a regurgitated fashion).
.
..I'm assuming you would not at all be willing to help with that.

I hope you weren't going to tell me you love me,
as I mentioned earlier I'm hard of hearing.




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This article has 33 comments. Post your own!

brax34 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:45 pm:
good good good! very nice, the title and then the actual poem gave me whiplash, it's important to keep people on their toes
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 22, 2011 at 11:35 am :
meci captain. thanks for commentating. the feedbackism is freakin awesome. very nice to meet you captain. you'll find me on your hardwood floors.
 
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IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 8, 2011 at 11:32 am:
Charmed, very :) I do so love your comparing of ruffles to a man-eating prehistoric flower, which you not will fetch water for, that is delicious.
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm :
thanks for taking day out of your time to commentate on me captain. it is that i am loving it so very much.
 
IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 8:57 pm :
Welcome, you're.
 
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trapped-in-a-broken-wonderland said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 5:40 am:
again, amazing job!!! =D i love the sarcastic-y tone of the entire thing (i myself am a sarcastic person, so it was fun to read), the guy sounds like he's a little bit of a snob, and the girl sounds like she tries to hard to try to be what others want of her........ i think we've all been in similar situations (or will be at some point in time) where someone tries to hard to give u what u think u want, and we get all bitter/ sarcastic about it cuz it's not what we want..... anyway amazing job fi... (more »)
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 5:19 pm :
you're awesome captain, and so poetic. you should put that into a poem, and thank you so much for the input. i'm glad you got something out of it. fait ta danse captain, fait ta danse.
 
qui_oui replied...
Jun. 2, 2011 at 11:04 am :
ses bon! tres bon!!!!
 
trapped-in-a-broken-wonderland replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 3:48 pm :
merci beaucoup! vous etes tres doux! but pardon me, which part is poetic?  
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 22, 2011 at 11:36 am :
the part about making yourself a constellation. i can already picture it in the mag, youre so creativical.
 
trapped-in-a-broken-wonderland replied...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 9:29 pm :

i don't deserve such flattery!!

but thank you you're very very kind...

and thank you for clearing that up i might just do that.. i might not.. it depends on how things go :)

 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 8:41 am :
..............
 
trapped-in-a-broken-wonderland replied...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 10:21 am :

i'm terribly sorry.. i forgot how to read morris code :(

oh and i thought about it.. and i think that you should put that into a poem :) your'e ten thousand times more poetic than me

 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm :
you have inspired me, though ofcourse you know this is no coded message.my bus was coming and i didnt know what to say so i just put that and walked out.
 
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