Emancipate Me

Looks like you blew me off again.
Ya, wonderful. Thank God you’re my friend.
I love the stinging pain of rejection,
Need you as badly as a lethal injection.
You want a lover in exchange for no love,
I yearn for someone I can touch with no glove.
Most of the time you’re so far gone,
The feelings for her I’ve known all along.
Sadie, a name, an echo, a hopeless reminder,
But you’ll kiss me again; a sick, twisted binder.
Told you before that you’re the first one
To give me butterflies and a tingling tongue.
You opened your heart, poured out your soul;
A life of bloodied hands, long forgotten goals.
I walk to your house, it’s eleven at night.
Inside I’m ignoring the desire to fight.
Promises to write you off, no reason to stay,
But you swear you’ll come around, you’ll stop by today.

Looks like you blew me off again.
Once and for all this is the end.
Slipped a crisp envelope under your door;
Inside, a necklace, a present of yours.
Joe gave me my sweatshirt, the one you borrowed.
Come by all you want, I’m busy tomorrow.
90 days later I see you once more.
Grey eyes empty, short one whore,
Shaking hands, crooked half-smile.
Won’t ask you in, won’t stay a while.
Before I was lonely, but I had one thing.
Wasn’t much, but it made me king.
Emotions, they held me, I was condemned.
I doubt now that I can ever feel again.