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Just Five Minutes

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you loved me last night
huddled for warmth
you said those three words
with a sprinkling of kisses
gone by morning

you loved me last night
shh, let me tell you a secret
hair brushed back by your lingering touch
lips parted, summer breath on my ear
gone by morning

you loved me last night
came back for me, realizations of love set in your eyes
finally!
a ray pees through cracked shutters
clashing and dancing with the shrills of my
alarm clock.
gone by morning





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

JoPepper said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 4:04 pm
That was very good. Did you really mean to say "pees"?  Keep writing!!! :D
 
ritabelle511 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 10:14 am
I really liked this poem!  Especially the "summer breath" part - I'm not sure why :) The only grammatical error I see is that I think you meant "pees" to be "peers" in the last stanza.  Other than that, great job!
 
corallee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:03 am

HAHAHAHA thank you for catching that. i actually meant "peeks". 

i'm glad you liked this poem, thank you for reading it!

 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 9:26 pm
I really liked this one! But i have one question: Was the person that loved you in a dream? Because at the end when you said that you woke he had disappeared. Or was he real and had snuck out of your room in the middle of the night? Either interpretation is fine really. this poem had a nice flow. Great job.
 
corallee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:06 am

Thank you :)

The poem basically based on multiple dreams that a girl (ahem or me) has about the guy she loves, but the dreams are always cut too short.

 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:33 am
Okay that's what i thought more than the other idea so yeah okay!
 
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