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The Bleak Land

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One day,
I was traveling
And I found a land that looked so warm
So warm!
I didn’t think I’d need a coat
So I went in
Without much to protect me

After I stayed awhile,
The land became cold
Oh so cold!

Water became ice
Snow covered the land
What was once a tropical paradise
Became a bleak land

Everyone else is warm
They have a coat
Or a mug
Or a fire
Or a friend to keep warm with

But since I am only a stranger
I have no one

I walk from place to place
Trying to get warm
But it only gets colder and colder
Darker and darker

And the hole I dug myself in
Only gets deeper and deeper



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This article has 18 comments. Post your own now!

Destinee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 8:51 pm
I actually really like this! You're a great poety. :) And I agree with Thesilentraven, it reminds me of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. 

Anyway, great poem!
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Thank you! I'll be sure to check out more of your work....

:)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 5:54 pm
I really like this, though it did create a bleak image (which was purposeful, so you did well!). Really captures the feeling of being a stranger in a strange land. It really reminded me of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, before it became warm again...
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Iamtheshystargirl said that too! And I agree. (although I did not realize that until after she said it) 

We actually discussed more about it, you can comment on what we said. :)

 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 11:50 pm
mu...mu...MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! tres bien mon captain. tu es ecrivain tres bon! i love the ending.
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Merci Beaucoup! :)

But I don't understand everything that you said. Just translate the last sentence that you said in French.

 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 10:21 pm
...=Evil laugh+very well+you are agood writer.
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Thank you! That really made my day! :)
 
IamtheshyStargirl said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:35 am
This reminds me of Narnia, in the time of the white witch. Kind of how the narnians probably wouldn't trust anyone new very much.
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I agree. This poem reminds even me of Narnia. It has that Narnia effect, especially the picture. The picture reminds me of the forest.  

Do you like the Narnia movies? The newest ones? 

 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Hey Aderes, would you by any chance like to join a teenink bookclub? I started one in the book of the month forum, the title of the thread is 'book club'. We're meeting right now, if you want to join us. (Actually, there's no body there but me at the moment, everyone else is in Canada, or on holiday.)
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Cool! Let me go there right now...
 
krarthurs said...
May 30, 2011 at 12:55 pm
This is a very powerful piece, and it can be interepreted in different ways. Good job, keep it up!
 
Aderes18 replied...
May 30, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Thank you! :) 
 
Writomania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 30, 2011 at 12:00 am

one word to describe this.

Wow.

Well written. Know whats the best thing about your writing? You express the best in juts a few words.. im surprised why TeenInk didn't choose your work for publishing :/

 
Aderes18 replied...
May 30, 2011 at 5:15 am

Thank you!! :)

Me too! 

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 11:44 pm
I really like how this poem could be applied to many situations.  And in honor of Boosflash's French, Je pense ton poème est très beau.
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 8:56 am

Yeah, this is actually a metaphoric poem(it represents something else entirely to me). My poem is one of those poems that is open to your own interpretation and I welcome different and alternative interpretations of this poem. 

As for the french, Merci! 

 
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