Not Completely Done Yet

March 17, 2011
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Trying my hardest to move on
But I can’t
Not completely.
Everything I do
Brings my thoughts back to you
I can’t get the future right,
And I can’t make the past wrong
Not completely.
If I hated you
Half as much
As I actually hate myself
Living without you
Wouldn’t be so…
…impossible.
My brain tells me
That I want you gone.
My heart says
Not completely.
Well, actually
It says that
I want you
Holding my hand
Laughing at my jokes
Understanding me
Catching me
Chasing me
Fighting me
Loving me
Helping me
Not fall apart
Not completely.
I die
When I hear you say
That I never really
Loved you
Not completely.
Because I know
Its not my place
To prove you wrong
But I want to
No, I need to.
Because I don’t need you
Thinking that I never
Loved you.
I may act for my parents
But there is no way in hell
I could act like I
Loved someone for
Two years of my life.
Two years I loved.
Two years I will always remember.
Two years I was happy to
“Throw away” with you.
I wish with all my heart
I could be
What you needed.
I wish I could
Prove you wrong
(Because you are)
I wish I could
Tell you all this
That I cry when
I compare how I
Feel, to how I felt.
Because nothing
Will ever
Match that.
Not now.
Not ever.
Not completely





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