This is Not a Poem

February 15, 2011
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“So what are you?”
“I’m a poet”
You reply with a smug look on your face
Oh, you think you just earned some respect from me?
Au contraire, ma cherie, I think you are an idiot

And don’t even say I have no respect for the arts
Because I have loads of respect
Just not for your art
If I can even call it that.

Poetry is like a
more complex way to say how you feel.
If I cared
About your childhood traumas
Or what your feeling now
I would ask.
But to be honest, I could care less.
So I especially don’t want to know how you’re feeling
Through complex metaphors and similes.
Why don’t you tell us exactly how you feel
In three words or less?
It’s that simple.

I don’t need a whole page to understand that
‘The economy sucks’
You don’t think I didn’t know that?
Thanks, for another job well done
Captain Obvious.

Don’t think I don’t know why you think poetry is so cool.
You and your black turtlenecks
And your damn coffee houses
Smoking cigarettes even though they’re killing you
And still thinking you look cool
I’m not sure why people respect poetry
But those suckers play into it
Lucky for you.

So you do what you do
Thinking you’re so artsy.
By the way,
if anyone cares,
I’m feeling fine right now, thanks.
And that didn’t even take up a whole page.

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Monkee63 said...
Mar. 24, 2011 at 10:16 am
This is amazing!
nickykens This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Ahaha.  I'm torn between hating you and loving the not-poem.  Fantastic.
decayingorganicmatter said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I can't believe no one else commented on this. This is so awesome! XD
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