The Lake and The Light This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

February 19, 2011
Light falls in cascading sheets of gold
Slowly
Lazily
For it has all the time in the world

It falls into a lake
A green lake
A full lake
Teeming with creatures fantastic
and mundane

The creatures gather 'round the light
Nudge it
Lick it
Marvel at this strange material

And soon another light is leaving the lake
Dim
Tarnished
And well loved

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 19, 2014 at 5:48 pm
I love the structure and your wording. "Mundane". I feel like I haven't used the word in ages. Your images are marvelous as well. 
 
RayBaytheDinosaur said...
Oct. 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm
some of your poems are so bright and happy like this i love reading them =D
 
sunshine04 said...
Sept. 22, 2011 at 2:58 am
this is amazing can u check my work i would love if u can give me advices :)
 
leafy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Lol I was the first to comment on this poem, back in April, but I still enjoyed spreading it again. Nice job, it definitely deserved Getting in the magazine :)
 
BrightBurningCampeador This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Thanks! :)
 
IamtheshyStargirl said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Awwwww, that was so lovable! I especially loved the last stanza, it made me feel all warm and cozy, it's very endearing.
 
Raytheraym said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 10:02 pm
Very good! It has a kind of dreamy feel to it. :)
 
Eirias said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 10:02 am

I prefer to write poems with puntuation. There's not a whole lot of difference that can be made by changing it, because these are just "words floating in the ether," shapless, like water, so. . . .

 

Well, here are my problems: Gold and world are half-rhymes that really stick out. I wouldn't say that's necessarily a good thing. "Mundane" is a good word, but I'm not sure why you used it in this passage, other than because you liked the way it sounded. Other than that, I can'... (more »)

 
BrightBurningCampeador This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Thank you for pointing out the half rhyme with gold and world. I hadn't noticed it.

I chose the word mundane because I wanted to show the variety of the creatures and how all of them were fascinated by the light, wether they were strange and otherworldly or just down right normal.

I would also like to say that in my opinion one could make quite a difference by changing it. That's one of the things I like about poetry. It's so delicate. One needs to consider the rythm of the word... (more »)

 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 11:38 am
great descriptions! Your imagry in this poem was soooo creative!
 
lucybrown97 said...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm

This poem has really wonderful imagry- I especially like "Light falls in cascading sheets of gold"  I can really see what you're talking about as I read.  I also liked how you said "Teeming with creatures fantastic and mundane" because it leaves me wondering at what sort of creatures live in the lake. 

Keep it up!

 
leafy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm
i like how you separated the words "slowly" and "lazily" in separate lines in the first stanza, cause it made th reader read it a little more slowly. anyway, i liked your poem, keep up the good work
 
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