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Make Me Feel

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Reason is my warden,
Solitude is my prison.
Against my will they have
Sewn up my eyes and my lips,
Built iron walls of protection
Around my soul.
I float along feeling feeling-less,
For my heart has been conditioned to pump sedatives.

Reason is in collaboration with the wind
Constantly reminding me that
“To feel numb is better than to feel pain”.
But what is feel?
What is pain?
What is…happiness?
Just empty words, wasted on an empty heart.

Something slides past the warden’s defences, something…
Warm.

Electrifying.



Dizzying.





Perfect.

I have been ambushed by a fog
Swirling, teasing
It envelops me now.
It casts away the shadows in my soul.
Smoothens the wrinkles of my frown.
Awakens all my senses from their slumber.
Beckons me.

When I am in this mist
I am high.
Doesn’t matter that I can’t see
The ground beneath my feet because I am
Floating on clouds of
bubble

gum


bliss.

This must be what it is like to feel;
This flame of hope burning
Brighter than the sun within my soul.
I need to see it, touch it, taste it.
It is calling me
I need to answer.

The warden is sounding the alarm bells
Ordering me to forget.
But how can I obey?
How can I go back to sleep
When I have tasted the sweetness of
Feeling?

Break through the bonds of reason
Ignore the winds of doubt.
I want to feel
Alive.
I rip off my shackles
And offer my heart to you in a box
With a big red bow.

- The moment of truth-
But the look in your eyes is not what I wanted.
You slam my heart on the floor
Sneering as it
Oozes rejection with each beat.
I fight back tears because
-There is still hope-
Minor wounds can be mended…

Your heart is wrapped in a box
With a big red bow.
I extend my hands
Expecting.

Longing.


Waiting.
My eyes are open for the first time,
And I can’t take them off of you.

But you can’t take your eyes off of her.
Your heart is hers.
Her heart is yours.
My heart belongs to nobody,
Still bleeding on the floor.
Alone.
Forgotten.

I am
Plummeting .

Silently .


Crashing.



S H A T T E R E D


Clouds are not meant to be walked on.
Walls are not meant to be knocked down.
Hope is not meant to be fuelled.
And hearts are not meant to be mutilated.

Don’t fight the hand of reason that
Keeps you numb.
Or else you will end up
Broken.


Alone.



Used.



Forgotten.

The only one that he can’t see,
That he never will see.
Wishing that you never discovered
What it is like to feel.
Because now, to feel pain is
The very definition of this
/B/r/o/k/e/n/
/H/e/a/r/t/





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

jkelsey said...
Feb. 19, 2011 at 7:27 pm
this is such beautiful writing:)
 
s.a.s replied...
Feb. 19, 2011 at 8:20 pm
thank you so much :)
 
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