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Express My Love

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How I express my love to you will never end I put my heart and trust But you don't seem to care I put my hands out to you you pull them away I express my love between you you dnt seem to care dont know why I put all this trust into you but then again you treat me like trash NO! I cant believe you I can be their for you but you don't care I care for you then again you treat me like a trash bag filled with trash knotted up and thrown away! WHY!My heart is in pain and its being detached




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starstruck15 said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm:
No offense but maybe you could organize it better? It's super hard to follow.
 
msprincess replied...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 7:19 pm :
thanks , for telling me but this not my best poem just saying my other ones are better
 
hanging_girl_666 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 9:10 pm :
I understand what you mean, sometimes i get so worked up over my poetry it all just comes out and it seams to match well enough for myself, yet it makes no sense to another. 
 
starstruck15 replied...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 4:02 pm :
Sorry, it's my opinion.
 
msprincess replied...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 1:58 pm :
its okay its good to get fee back so you can improve that is not my best poem did u view my other ones
 
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Mz.Minny2011 said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 8:00 pm:
the poem was okay but i think u kud hav been more descriptive of your feelings
 
msprincess replied...
Mar. 16, 2011 at 4:28 pm :
okay thankks for letting me kno did u read my other poems
 
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silence-is-loud said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm:
I agree with LiveInTheMoment... You used the wrong words and tense for a lot of the poem. This poem seemed childish and it seemed like you didn't give the poem any thought. However, besides from that I understand what you were saying.... Just organize your thoughts first, and then take a deep breath and type. :)
 
msprincess replied...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 6:00 pm :
............ did u read my other poem this wasnt my best poem tho
 
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LiveInTheMoment said...
Mar. 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm:
I didn't love the poem. One of the lines I particularly didn't like was "you treat me like a trash bag full of trash." What else is a trash bag going to be filled with? Candy? It felt like a 4th grade poem, written right the morning the assignment was due. Even so, I can see potential in you. Keep on writing!
 
msprincess replied...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 5:58 pm :
thanks for letting me know . did u c my other poems commet them that is not my best poem I have more
 
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msprincess said...
Feb. 19, 2011 at 7:05 pm:
its not anonymous its by maribel dejesus
 
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msprincess said...
Feb. 19, 2011 at 7:05 pm:
maribel dejesus poem
 
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