Proofread

January 14, 2011
By WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes


I take the paper in my hands
Three pages thick, how does it end?
He skips a comma, I realize
I read a metaphor that makes me cry

'I am a doll, long forgotten' he writes
I wonder what he lives through at night
Do his parents know he feels this way?
Do his parents care what children say?

Tears drip down my pale face
For I know with what I am graced
I wish I knew to whom this belongs
I wish I could easily right these wrongs

Terrible pain, the similes tell
Screams from his kitchen, ring like a bell
I feel the pain, as it is mine too
I see it in the pictures the boy drew

Then I choke at the last paragraph
'Please help me now, for I am trapped
My parents have forgotten to care
Oh how is this fair?'

I found out the other day
The boy was killed as he prayed
His parents are imprisoned for neglect
But I should have helped, 'tis my regret.


The author's comments:
This is just something I came up with one day.

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This article has 11 comments.


on Aug. 1 2011 at 7:14 pm
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes

Thank you!

on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:53 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments

*seriously

I hate typos...


on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:52 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Wow, this is...amazing! I seriourly got goosebumbs! :) Very well written!

on Jun. 22 2011 at 10:55 am
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes

Thanks so much! That's an awesome goal to have!

on Jun. 22 2011 at 9:52 am
Scribbler-of-Dreams PLATINUM, Brandon, Florida
23 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love isn't everything we want, but it's everything we need....

This article is amazing. It ecourages me to become a social worker. very deep. Things like this cross my mind all the time. That why I want to do social work

on Jun. 21 2011 at 8:31 pm
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes

Thanks so much!

Bookworm said...
on Jun. 21 2011 at 8:12 pm

Such a sad poem, but so powerful!!! Keep up the amazing work!!!

You should read a novel called "13 Reasons Why". Your poem reminds me of it!!


on Jun. 18 2011 at 8:34 pm
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes

Thank you!

on Jun. 18 2011 at 6:34 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Wow, this was a great poem.  I love the rhythm and the imagery is excellent as well.  Good job, WiseGirl!

on Jun. 9 2011 at 10:03 am
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes

Wow, I just now saw this comment. Truthfully, when I started writing the poem, the main character was going to proofread the paper, but it got changed somewhere in my mind. I guess I never thought to change the title... oops....

Thanks though! :)


SJ_101 said...
on May. 20 2011 at 6:24 pm
SJ_101, Somewhere, New York
0 articles 0 photos 170 comments

Wow! This was definitely very emotional and deep. :)

 

I may have missed the point, because I'm not too good with poems, but what does the title have to do with the poem? Is the main character proofreading the work? Why is the main character upset? What is the main character regretting?

 

I'm sorry, maybe you would like to clarify?

 

Overall, good job! :)



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