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Like Romeo and Juliet

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It used to be just me and you,
I believed you were my fairytale come true,
But we were destined to be like Romeo and Juliet.
We bargained with fate and lost the bet,
Now I'm alone in a world of grey,
Nobody to take the pain away.
Love is a game, and one that I lost,
Now I must pay its dreadful cost.
I once heard a saying,
"An angel left my life today,
Stole my dreams, my heart away.
Loneliness now here to stay,
Love and laughter gone away,
That's my loss nothing left to say."
And it is so true, how those words described me and you.




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Nessa13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 1, 2012 at 8:00 am:
this is really cute(;
 
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LittleMidnight said...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 11:08 pm:
Well done, well written, and I really like the way that it rhymes. Love it!!!! >.<
 
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julian This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 4:19 pm:
Great job! I really like when poems rhyme, and have great flow. This poem has both!
 
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JoPepperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 10:38 am:
That was very good I really liked it!!!!! Keep writing!!!!! :))
 
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TwasBrilling said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm:
Great oem...it was a really good idea to make the last line not follow the rhyme scheme. That gives it a sort of finality.
 
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Raytheraym said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 9:31 pm:
Wow, very good! Wonderful emotion!
 
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HannSawyer15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 8:20 pm:
Nice! My favorite line was "we bargained with fate and lost the bet" it kind of opens the door and makes me think that you're poem means something more. You get me? Am I even making sense? Lol anyway! Great job!
 
ams98 replied...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 12:02 pm :
haha ya i get u:) Thx for the positive feedback:))))
 
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gigi01 said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 10:46 pm:
Wonderful poem... you did very well applying a classic tragic drama to real life... very interesting, especially the line, We bargained with fate and lost the bet, awesome!
 
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thetruthawaits94This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 10:01 pm:
it's awesome that you have so many friends on here to support you! I just thought that was cool.   Anyway, this poem was nice. I love that fourth line we bargained with fate and lost the bet. Again, a very good poem! `""  thumbs up!
 
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M.Lizeth said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 12:13 pm:

I liked this poem, and the way you turned a cliche into your own original idea was fantastic. Although your rhyming scheme did get a little messy near the end, I'd say you did a fantastic job on this poem.

Keep Writing

 - M. Lizeth

 
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Robyn97 said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 11:51 am:
I really liked this poem; the comparison to Romeo and Juliet was nice. Where did you find that saying?
 
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redhairCatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 10:36 pm:
Oh - very bittersweet! (I like it, though!) Good job! I really love the line "We bargained with fate and lost the bet" - very creative!
 
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kidmick98 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 6:37 pm:

Ally,

Just so you know you spelled read wrong on one of the comments.... umm yeah. This is my FAVORITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you and alll of your writing!

xoxoxxoxopxoxoxxoxoxoxoMickey

 
ams98 replied...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 3:51 pm :

haha thx:) I suck at spelling so i dont really care:) 

I LOVE U TOO!!!!!

 
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Unbalenced.FreakThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm:
wow, that was awesomme(: !!
 
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SnowWhitesMaid said...
Feb. 18, 2011 at 10:17 am:
Yayy Ally :)!! P.S. THis is Meghan.... ;)
 
ams98 replied...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 5:48 pm :

Thx

I FINALLY GOT 2 RED UR PIECE!!!!!!

 
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kidmick98 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 15, 2011 at 7:09 pm:
Yay ally!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
 
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pas182 said...
Jan. 21, 2011 at 7:39 pm:
This really touched me.  Thanks for writing it.  Write some more stuff.  
 
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