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Superficial Realities

Superficiality
Has become a reality
To the people of the modern world.
It is here they sit,
Unable to stand,
All the same,
Claiming to be different,
Unaware that they
Have fallen victim
To an artificial actuality





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This article has 17 comments. Post your own now!

Audrey M. said...
Jun. 5, 2011 at 6:45 am
I think that this is really great, although the flow of it is a little awkward. Although it might just be how I'm reading it. I don't know, but maybe somehow arrange the last couple of lines so that the end of the poem mirrors the start of the poem? Like, with having the last line be 'Artificial actuality'. That's what I would do, at least. All in all, though, great job really tapping into what teens seem to be about. ^_^
 
JMThe-one replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm
thanks, and I'm not exactly sure what you found wrong with the flow/structure. Maybe it's because we read it differently. 
 
Audrey M. replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Oh, okay, never mind. I just reread it and the flow really isn't that awkward. Looking at the time I posted though, I can understand why I thought that. I do really like this poem, though.
 
JMThe-one replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Thanks. Do you like art too? I think I'm gonna post some of the stuff I drew this year. 
 
Audrey M. replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Yeah, you definitely should. I want to be a photographer, so yeah, I guess you could say I like art. lol
 
JMThe-one replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm
I'll upload them now if you wanna see them.
 
trademarkoperation replied...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Sure. Sounds good.
 
JMThe-one replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 11:26 am
Well, the art finally posted. lol. It's not all of my art but some of it.
 
trademarkoperation replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I like them a lot. They're really interesting and I'm always envious of people who can draw. Although, I prefer photography over drawing. Some of my photos are posted although some of it also looks like garbage since TeenInk just destroys the resolution and makes it look all grainy and stuff. Also, some of my poems have posted finally if you would like to check them out. /shameless vamping of work/
 
JMThe-one replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 4:10 pm
I've always prefered drawing because I always felt it takes a lot mor skill and effort to draw something, than it does to simply pick a camera and capture an image instantly. Not that I think photography is deficient or anything I just prefer drawing. 
 
JMThe-one replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 4:11 pm
More* and thanks though. 
 
trademarkoperation replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 4:16 pm

No, yeah, I totally get it. I'm quite lazy when it comes to certain things and I get frustrated if something doesn't come out exactly how I envisioned it, which prevents anything I attempt to draw from coming out good, or at least what I think it good. Although I think photography is a lot more difficult than people give it credit for.

And yeah, of course. I think that the trumpet ones are really interesting. :)

 
Vidra This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 4:56 pm
I. Love. This. You explained today's teenagers and kids in 10 lines. I've always wanted to write a poem with this idea but you wrote it better than I could have ever done. :) If you have time, could you check out any of my work on the website? It would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! :)
 
JMThe-one replied...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Sure. and thanks. lol
 
JMThe-one replied...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 6:06 pm
I'm not very good at navigating this website, and have no idea how to get to your works. If you can tell me how I will though. 
 
Vidra This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 3:59 pm
In the upper right hand corner of the page it says "Advanced Search." click on that and type in "Vidra" for the author's screen name. All of my work will show up. :) Thanks!
 
JMThe-one replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Yeah. You should check out the rest of my stuff too.
 
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