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Look At Him

Look at him.

Gliding under the oak trees,
With a child in one hand,
A book in another.

He is so blessed,
Yet has troublesome thoughts
Clouding up his mind.

He is successful.

He has all that a man could ask for.

Yet something is itching
At the back of his mind.

Something
That is making him uneasy.

His instincts tell him
That he should be cautious.

He tries to wave them away,
Saying, "Don't bother me right now."

Those,
He can brush away.

The danger
However,
Is coming
Closer and closer.

Why him?
Why today?

He knows not
What is coming,
But we know he feels it.

Not everyone has instincts
Like him.

But here it comes.

The monstrous
Destroying
Tornado.

It whips through
Leaving not only destroyed homes
And dead people,

But also a hole
In a certain man's heart,
As he watches his house torn away from the earth.



Join the Discussion

This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 3:52 pm
This is is a cool poem, and I like the stanza that reveals the tornado, the way it is set up almost looks like a funnel cloud!
 
AmandaPanda123 replied...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Thank you! I appreciate you reading it
 
Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 2:09 pm
This poem is deep so you need word choice that will reflect that. I'm not saying you need words that use every letter from the alphabet, but try to make it more colorful. Try having more dramatic verbs. I hope this helps! Good luck and keep writing cause that's the only way to get better!
 
AmandaPanda123 replied...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Thanks for reading it! I have been trying to work on more descriptive poems lately to make them better. That is the main thing that I'm focusing on right now. Thank you for the advice.
 
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