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Drama hoists her too-large Coach tote onto her shoulder
As she gets out of her too-large Cadillac Escalade
And grabs her too-large venti Caramel Macchiato
With soymilk to save calories, of course.
Drama clanks her Jimmy Choo stilettos along the sidewalk,
Tosses her keys to the valet,
Since she can’t be bothered to park her own car.
Drama fixes the hot pink costume jewelry
That she wears to match her sleek black pencil skirt
And fabulous, flowing flowered blouse.

Drama meets her friend in the expensive designer boutique,
Sits down in the plush armchair,
Accepts the bottle of Voss water.
Drama leans into her friend and whispers,
“Did you hear about Michelle?”
Drama waits for her personal shopper to leave,
Off to find the chicest, priciest outfits in Drama’s size 2
Since she can’t be bothered to find her own clothes.
Drama whispers to her friend
About her other friend
Exaggerating facts about that friend’s husband
All for the thrill of the story.

Drama tries on the fitting, animal-print gown
Not at all thinking about the rumors she started
Not at all thinking about how her friend might be affected
Not at all thinking about what might change now.
Only staring at herself in the Victorian-style mirror,
Thinking about how good she looks,
Realizing she could stand to lose a few pounds.
Lose a few pounds not because she needs to,
Oh no,
Lose a few pounds because then
People will talk about how good she looks.

And when Drama comes out of the dressing room
And when Drama sees her friend crying
And when Drama’s friend refuses to tell her what is wrong,
Drama doesn’t realize her friend doesn’t trust her.
Oh no.
As Drama saunters from the store,
Her slim fingers swiftly share the scandal on her cell.
Even though she doesn’t know what happened.
But that’s okay, because it’s all for the thrill of the story.

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