I could give you a million words

I could tell you my heartbreaking- recovering life

You'd laugh at the dark humor

Laughs turn into tears

Walk in my shoes

Run in them

Till your far, far way

In the mountains with me.

I could give you a million words

Trade spots with you

You could feel

What I felt

The emotions

Stabbing my stomach

The screaming in my head

Drowned out by music and

Fake laughter

Fake smiles

Fake everything.

I could give you a million words

Describing myself, my life

Sad

Depressed

Angry

Fake

Low self esteem

Intelligently screwed

Broken.

I could give you a million words

Hours

Days

Years

Lifetimes.

I could give you a million words

On a computer screen like this,

Write down the words

Feel semi-satisfied with it

Having no idea

What it meant.

What I mean

What this world means.

In those million words

In the end

No point at all

To it.

To me.

To life itself.

Except maybe

You.