I hurt myself today; i unblocked you from my memory.

i looked at all the pictures, we took on that spring day,

i let myself remember ; how we felt about those days.

and the cracks sealed away in my heart

for the first time in months, started to ache.

just a little pain here and there,

a feeling i thought i threw away.

i don't know what made me do it,

i know that it makes me insane.

and even a part of my soul could tell

soon enough i'd do it to myself.

soon enough, i'd remember.

some things are unforgettable;

why does that sound like a good thing?

to me it's marvelously disgusting.

for you, don't wish to remmeber anything.

can you feel it dear?

can you hear the beating of my heart,

or the confusion multiplying inside me?

did you know i'd miss you from the start?

im so much smarter than i was back then.

i know you arent essential to my survival.

but when i read those words in the dark night,

the light of my phone screen burned through my eyes

the summer air stirred cold chills down my spine.

and the emptiness of my stomach filled with guilty spite.

for the first time, i felt true breakage of a new kind.

more than anyone, i can tell that pain

it takes more than just time to heal

and sealed within the scars

theres emotion and memory

who knew such nerves could store, absolutley everything.