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Pale Blue Satin

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The roar of the Interstate not far away
The great black velvet sky overhead
The bright lights along the street's edge
And a girl dancing alone in the parking lot
Of an old deserted motel.
She's been here every night all summer
And nobody knows who she is
Though she dances till midnight every evening
In the deserted parking lot of that deserted building
In this desolate place.
The music she dances to nobody hears.
The crowd that she dances for nobody sees.
But every night this summer
at eight pm in the parking lot of that old deserted motel,
you can spot a blur of blue
(pale blue)
spinning like a top.
A joyous top.
The old women of this desolate town
Whisper about her under their breath,
Wondering
Who is she? What is she doing? Why is she here, of all places?
and other general things that are none of their business.
People are so narrowminded,
and they think the poor girl must be insane,
but I see nothing wrong
with dancing alone in the parking lot
of an old deserted motel.
And for a backdrop
The roar of the Interstate not far away
The great black velvet sky overhead
And the bright lights along the street's edge.



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This article has 11 comments. Post your own!

Lexie96 said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 4:07 pm:
This is really pretty and it tells a story as well, which is great. Do you think you could check out my poem Sowing Poppies sometime? I'd love to hear your opinion.
 
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RiverSong said...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm:
Yeah, I found this by reccommendation (recommendation? reccomendation? I can never spell that word) from teenpoet8 on the forum, and I am awestruck. *five stars*
 
RedheadAtHeart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 7, 2011 at 6:54 pm :
Thanks for reading, RiverSong. I'm so glad you liked it.
 
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-Insert_Evil_Laugh-This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm:
Wow, I read this at teenpoet8's recommendation, and I love the idea. I feel like it could have worked well as a song, too, maybe. Like Elizabeth_Day, I think this has some great imagery and such :D Well done.
 
RedheadAtHeart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 6, 2011 at 1:24 pm :
Thanks a lot, Evil Laugh. It does sort of seem like a song, now that I think about it. :)
 
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Elizabeth_DayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 4:37 pm:
I really like this.  i can see the girl spinning on the black top with her pale blue dress (I know you didn't specify the dress, but it's what i see) belling out beneath her.  I feel like some of the lines should be broken up differently, but you did fantastic!
 
RedheadAtHeart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 5:10 pm :
Why thank you! I guess you figured out how to view people's work... thanks for picking me! I'm glad you liked it! I'll check out some of yours if you'd like; just say the word.
 
Elizabeth_DayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 9:15 pm :
I'd love that!  Thanks!
 
teenpoet8 replied...
Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:13 pm :
hey this is Brooke!  thanks for checking out my poem, "Oxygen", and commenting.  This poem is beautiful!  maybe my favorite one I've read!  this is going right into my favorites!!!
 
RedheadAtHeart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:34 pm :
Thanks Brooke! I'm flattered, and I'm so glad you liked it. :)
 
NonsensicalMuse replied...
Feb. 14, 2011 at 9:43 am :

Beautiful and expressive!!

It would make a wonderful song!

 
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