The Cry

October 21, 2010
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I wish I could cry
When I cry, all my pain goes away
Heavy streams down in my cheeks
The relieving salty taste of pain
Resulting in peace of mind

But no, I’m a man
And men are forbidden to cry
As we are born to be tough and crying is a signal of weakness, and we are not allowed to be weak
Not by our friends, not by our family, not by the society
Who created the image of men as somebody who is fearless, strong, invincible, with no feelings
And the ladies as weak, fragile, helpless
Who wants to see their son like that? Who wants to see their son being called names?
Because of this f***ing prejudice I can’t cry

And after all those years being taught
“Swallow your tears or I’m gonna give you a reason to cry”
I can’t even cry anymore
Every time I try, I just can’t
And all this pain of mine makes my head heavy
And my heart sad
And my body hurt
And I feel nervous
I just don’t function, I just can’t act
I just can’t think, I just can’t live

But then I take a deep breath
As I was minutely taught to
And I swallow my pain
And just trick myself thinking that everything is alright
When I know it’s not true
Because I am not allowed to cry

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