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I can hear the drums tap-tap-tapping
I can feel the earth shake under marching feet
I can see the bright light of exploding gunpowder

The gray transports carry them to the battlefield
The barrage is relentless
The soldiers are everywhere

Drumming out a tattoo
Marching out to Waterloo
Flashes of light split the night in two

And the little rain soldiers fight on





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Beachgirl1 said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:42 am
You continue to amaze me! i really like this poem because of the beat. you can hear it in you head :) 
 
PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 7:27 am
clever poem  keep it up
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 9:21 am
Thanks :)       
 
thepreachyteenager said...
Nov. 16, 2010 at 7:18 pm
I like the idea of this poem, but I just didn't get a very strong feeling from it.  And the rhyming in the third stanza seemed forced and unnatural.  The last line was cool, though.
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 27, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I was just really bored, so I'm surprised this is all you have to say about it and it's lack of.... poemness! lol Glad you liked the last line!
 
hi_from_wonderland said...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 9:50 am
huh?...ooooooh! i get it now :) haha lol
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 4:00 pm
haha It's thunder drums, exploding lightning, and the foreshadowing mention of WATERloo lol
 
AshTree said...
Nov. 12, 2010 at 6:26 pm
lol This make me laugh and I wouldn't have realized it was "rain soldiers" until the end. When I first started reading it the picture confused me then I was like ooooh. So creative!
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 12, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Haha thanks! :D
 
Phoenix97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 12:55 pm
The ending made me laugh. XD I love how you built up the tension and then revealed the fact that these particular soldiers are raindrops. I also love how you used repetition in "tap-tap-tapping." Is there any way you could incorporate more of this?
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 1:05 pm
Thanks! :D I don't know how I would continue this.... any ideas?
 
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 9, 2010 at 6:53 pm
I like the flow! You should continue it! The rhyming is good. It ends too abruptly though and I'm wondering what happens next.
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 9, 2010 at 7:26 pm
Thanks!  I don't know if anything happens next, I just got inspired by a storm. :)
 
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