He Didn’t Know

Packed bags and tears
on the dreaded day
that my cousin
left for the war.
Infinite hugs and kisses
were showered upon him
by parents, aunts, uncles
and cousins.
All of them
except me.
I gave him the
silent treatment.
It was only because
I didn’t want him
to go.
But he didn’t know that.
He bent down
on one knee
to talk to me.
He tried to get me
to smile,
but to no avail.
I couldn’t let him
see me cry.
I wanted him to
wonder
why I was so mad.
Be mysterious.
I pulled away
from his
outstretched arms –
I knew I would
never be able to
let go if I did.
But he didn’t know that.
I wish I would have
told him that
I loved him.
I wish I would have
told him that
I would miss him.
I wish I would have
told him not to go.
For the words that
went unspoken
live to be my greatest
regret.
But he doesn’t know that.
And now he never will.