Forgive, Don't Forget

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The days pass by.
I am constantly questioning myself as to how you don’t understand.
I couldn’t believe you did this to me.
You were my first and only love.
I hate you for what you’ve done.
But I love you for what you’ve helped me become.
I tried to stay strong but the thought never stopped running through my head.
Whatever I did to try and make me forget always seemed to fail miserably.
How do you expect me to trust you or believe you?
Don’t expect me to.
You don’t deserve me or anything I have to offer.
You will never be the same person you used to be.
I ask you over and over again, was this really worth it?
I’m as scared as a mom loosing their child.
Those dreadful nights I would curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep.
There will always be this feeling inside me to remind me of what you’ve put me through.
No matter what you say or what you do.
You lied to my face repeatedly, and I believed you.
I believed the person that once said that they would do anything for me.
I believed the person that said they would always be there for me.
Well I learned my lesson to not listen to anything you have to offer, it’s just a big joke to you.
I was nothing but good to you, and this is what I get in return.
Remember all those countless days you would look me in the eyes and tell me you loved me?
I would proudly say it back to you.
I actually meant it.
The only thing that was good for once in my life came crashing down.
I now realize that I can’t keep putting myself through this.
We can no longer be together.
You don’t deserve me or anything I have to offer.

Two weeks pass and I have ignored your texts and calls.
I want to think that this will make everything better but in reality it’s just getting worse as the days pass by.
I can’t ignore you.
I can’t just walk away and leave our relationship in the dust after all we’ve been through together.
I need you.
I want you.
I have to work through this and make things better.
I’ve always said that if this ever happens to me I want nothing to do with this person.
When you really love someone, it’s easier said than done.
I will someday forgive you, but I will never forget.





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