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The Girl Watches

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The girl watches.
People laughing and enjoying themselves.
She knows what they think, these people who talk.
They think she is invisible, unnoticed by all.
But I know what they think, these people who talk and I will make sure she has her say.
One day, I will find a way for her to have her say.



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CarrieAnn13 said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 8:17 pm
I like the imagery in your poem.  It's nice, simple and tells a story.  Great work! :)
 
StrangeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I like it! :) It's very pretty and simple. Well done!
 
for.who.I.am said...
Apr. 5, 2011 at 10:59 am
awwwww, i love this, it has like, its own other story to it. so sweet :))
 
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 28, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Thanks so much guys! :) I really, really appreciate the feedback!
 
JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 4, 2011 at 6:20 pm

This is quite clever and I do enjoy the ideas and writing.

 

Just a little constructive feedback, all with structure. If you seperate the "these people who talk" lines, so instead of using a comma, you give them their own lines, I think the poem would flow better. And a little more spacing in some of the others might sound a little nicer. It's a matter of preference exactly how it's done, so don't just take the way I do it, if you'd like something better. I'd probably space... (more »)

 
JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 4, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I'm not sure why it repeated my comment =S
 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2011 at 3:31 pm

I'm generally on the louder and charismatic side, though I am inexplicably drawn to quieter people.

I liked the poem, it was short and sweet.

 
Lacer said...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm
This is an amazing piece with extreme relvance to today. I have a very large appreciation for deep interpretation and poetry, and I love the piece and what it proposes people to do. Less is more :)
 
Hazel-daisy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I liked it and I had a girl in my class who did the exact same thing (she just watched us and never said anything) this poem is kind of what I feel aswel so I relate to it very much!! Well done!!
 
the_dreamer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 5, 2010 at 6:07 pm
aaahh :) I enjoyed this. You say so much with so little, and it is quite relatable! good job :)
 
echome94 said...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 9:26 pm
It isnt fun being the quiet girl, you want to speak but never find your voice for fear of being picked on.
 
Coffee replied...
Jan. 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm

exactly. I used to be just like that. I'm a little more outgoing now, but still

anyway, i thoguht it was great, really.

 
AshTree said...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 11:06 am
I like this. I've never really been the quiet person and it makes me wonder what I would be like if I was. Go you! *gives a gigantic smile* :D
 
Atrissa This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 26, 2010 at 2:58 pm
this is really cool. i like how u wrote it from an unknown persons point of view :)
 
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 27, 2010 at 12:39 am
Thanks so much! :) I wasn't sure how the last 2 lines would come out or whether they would stuff up the entire poem!!
 
Atrissa This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 27, 2010 at 5:25 pm
no, i like it. it shows someone cares about her :)
 
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