They stole my innocence when I was 3.
They took my life away.
They forced me to grow up way too Soon.
They ruined my life,
Took everything away.
They scared me into thinking that It was all my fault.
They used me.
Then left me to cry
And want to die.
Their everywhere.
But their not really there.
I seem them.
Hallucinations of them.
Watching me.
Waiting for me to fall asleep.
They take my dreams over.
They haunt me.
They took everything away,
Then and now.
I still feel like it's my fault,
Even though it's not.
I wish that it would all go away,
But it's here,
Forever,
As long as I live.
They were my father's
"Best friends"
My father was a drunk,
A drug user.
So he didn't really care.
He was never there.
When he was home,
He was passed out
Or beating on us.
When he was home,
They were there.
Waiting for him to pass out,
Waiting for everyone to leave,
To leave me helpless,
To leave me alone.
Most of the time
I was helpless
I was alone.
They would come up stairs
Take my innocence away again.
They took turns,
One at a time.
Killing me inside.
I screamed,
I fought back,
Hopeing for someone to come,
To come and save me,
To put this torment to an end.
No one heard my cry.
I was helpless
I was alone
I was in pain,
Agony that always tore at me.
They didn't stop coming to me,
Until I got a little too old for Them,
A little too mature.
I could fight them off.
Finally.
They came just one last time.
I told them no.
I screamed.
I made as much noise as I could.
Yet,
No one could hear.
It was as if the whole world was Deaf.
I didn't let them get me down.
I didn't let them get to me.
I was only 6 but almost 7.
The words that I said
I will never regret.
I got to them,
Deep down within there souls,
They hesitated,
Before coming after me.
But that was all that I needed.
It gave me hope.
It made me believe,
That this could all come to an end.
No one could put this to an end Except me.
So I did.
I tried.
They were afraid of me.
Maybe it was the anger,
The hurt,
The agony,
The emptiness,
The sadness in the little brown Eyes of mine
That spoke everything.
I got them to the stairs.
They were gone.
I had done it.
It was over.
But I didn't know,
It was only the beginning.
I never told anyone
Until this year.
I still have nightmares
Their never going to go away.
My hate,
My anger
Are always there.
I just hide it all.
I keep it all in.
The tears,
The pain,
The loss,
The emptiness that they caused me,
It's all still there.
I'm tired of holding it all back,
Inside of me.
The more that I talk,
Write,
Or draw about it,
What happened to me,
Makes some of the nightmares go Away.
I tallows me to have a dream
A dream of my future,
Of a loved one,
Of friends,
Of being happy.
Everyone that I have told
Would of never guessed that this Happened
To me.
Well,
It did.
And now you know.
Now you know to expect the Unexpected
And there's more to people
Than what's on the outside.