moving on

August 19, 2010
I see you with her and I feel my heart break
My stomach falls out
And tears form in my eyes

Memories grip me so hard
Wrapping around me
Before I can fight them off

You were my first kiss
My first everything
My first love

I ruined it though like everything else
You wanted to commit and I ran away
I ran away from you and broke your heart

I guess it’s only fair now that you break mine
But it hurts so bad
The memories choke me

Your hands wandering
And when I hesitate you ask if I’m ok
And when I tell you to stop you stop
And when I change my mind you keep going

I regret it
Letting things go too far
And that’s the worst part of all this
Because as badly as I want to hate you
I really just hate myself right now

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