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How Do I Know?

How am I supposed to know when your true?
If your words lie with certainty but your actions just show how little you care
How do I trust when I've been lied to so many times?
It may seem hypocritical to be lied to, but lies are my shield
I don't want to let anyone in, and when I feel that I'm about to, I run away from it
I don't want it even if it's for the better, I don't want to risk getting hurt
To be left with a cut so deep not even time would help it heal, there will be the blood and the bumpy gray scar no one would care to see
But if so, how am supposed to know you'll be there
That you will pull me out of the sinking darkness when I'm holding on by fingertips
What if you let go and run away to let me drown and blend with the dark
That's how it would start
Little by little you will pull away and look for better
Being good enough is not my specialty, apparently it has never been
So perhaps, being alone is not too bad
It gives a strong sense of independence that overlaps the others
During the day I will walk strong and unafraid, but at night I would just cry
Cry because I know you're not next to me, and because I know I pushed you away
But do trust in my words when I say I never wanted to
Trust when I say, "I Love You" because it took a lot to say it back
And trust that I want you, whether your reckless, hyper, insane, or a nightmare
I wouldn't want you any different.





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