What's The Rush?

August 23, 2010
By corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
50 articles 0 photos 34 comments

A step outside, into the busyness. Bright lights slide through the pitch-black sky, cars whiz by. Isolation—lukewarm greetings, plastic grins, dying sparks in eyes. Live for the end of the day, end of the week, end of the year. What do you live for?
Skin, puckered and loose, Florescent-white wisps of hair suspended in the air. Struggling to stand, support in the form of smooth, arched wood. The support falls, spilling you to the cold floor. It seems to welcome you. Silent, shoulders quivering, warm pools around you.


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This article has 4 comments.


on Aug. 4 2011 at 8:46 pm
corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
50 articles 0 photos 34 comments

I'm sorry--I mistakenly placed this in the poetry category. This is supposed to be a vignette.

Hm...I don't know if this helps, but the first half is supposed to represent the actual "rush", while the second half represents the effect of the rushing.

Thank you for your comments!


on Aug. 4 2011 at 6:49 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
First, I'm curious why you chose to make such long lines. It seems more like two paragraphs than a poem. Second, the two halves don't really fit together. I really like the second half, but I don't really get where you're going with it.

on Aug. 4 2011 at 1:53 pm
corallee DIAMOND, Newport Coast, California
50 articles 0 photos 34 comments
Thank you :)

on Aug. 4 2011 at 12:24 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Wow, this is really good! I love your word choice! Great job!


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