I miss the smiling.

I miss seeing you and smiling.
I miss hearing you saying my name and smiling because it was you saying it.
I miss smiling at you.

I miss smiling at the world because I knew how great my life was.
I miss hiding a smile because someone seeing me wouldn’t understand that I was smiling at something inside my head.
I miss the secret smiles I’d give when I knew things couldn’t get better.

I miss the smile that came when I first realized I wasn’t dreaming.
I miss the smile that came when I realized it again, for the second time.
I miss the smile that came when I realized it was 5:30 AM and I had woken up because I was too happy to sleep.

I miss the sad smiles.
I miss the smile I had on when I was secretly laughing at you for not knowing what to say.
I miss the smile I had on when I was secretly laughing at myself for knowing it was coming.