Poor Thunder

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Taking up the sky
It roars
It begins to cry
Its soar
So it strikes at innocence
Its bored

Power of thunder
Never will it plunder
So many accidents past
How long will thunder's sadness last?





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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 11:03 am
Very interesting word choice. I was kind of hearing thunder throughout this piece. Great imagery. :)
 
OriginalCarbonation said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 9:45 pm
"how long will thunders sandness last"... thats hauntingly deep but yet also simple... wow
 
SpringRayyn said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 1:18 am
It really interested me when you said "So it strikes at innocence : Its bored." Again, I must mention punctuation. Apostrophes and also maybe a comma after 'innocence' and 'past' and maybe some other places. I'm so sorry if all this punctuation talk is making you bored, but it really really bugs me a lot that it isn't correctly punctuated. If you want people--well, me--to stop bugging you about it then you should stop bugging me with it. Even if it's not on purpose, please try and revise your wo... (more »)
 
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