Scared...
as my heart beat races
striping me
of
my pride and innocence
I lay there...
frozen
paralyzed with thoughts
of
insecurity and uncertainty
unaware of the damage that you were going to do
to me...
to my life, I lay there
door closed
eyes shut
and time stopped
although I wish it hadn't
wishing my world would spin faster
because then maybe the thought and memory
of you being wouldn't exist or even be evident in my mind today
reluctant to stay
as you...
forced my soul
on
white sheets
in dark rooms
where cornered screams could not escape
hard to breathe
I
waited to exhale
but you
took my breath away when you
spread my legs cross sides of the bed
then
penetrated my body with everything
you had
sweat dripping from your head
and onto my cheek
acted like tears...
rolling down from eyes wet with disbelief to the corners of my mouth
and my mouth
was
wide open with
hushed screams by loud moans of pleasure
By
loud moans of pain
By
loud moans of disbelief
mouth opened with
empty prayers to God
as my heart ached
opened with
silent cries that ask why
and how
you could even have the heart to do this to me
I
tasted lips of sin covered in words that said
“just relax”
but
you just answer me this
how
am I
supposed to “relax”
when
my heart breaks with every motion you make
when
you force yourself into me
and drain my spirit
when
you are able to rape me of my pride
and tell me you love me while
looking into my eyes and taking life from me
all at the very same time
for you are my figure of hate
Broken...
as I lay there
with thoughts that trickle down my spine
and
remind me of all that your supposed to be
and everything you actually are
I
am
crushed
because
I know
I can never move past this
I
am hurt
beyond belief because It wasn't supposed to be you
and
I
get sick to my stomach because
no one knew...
no one ever knew
no one ever knew
about the
kept quiet
secrets
that rested in my bedroom
no
no one ever knew
that the place where dreams were to be made
was
the same place my nightmare was created
and no one ever knew...
how...
how
how you
forced my soul on
once white
but
now red sheets
in dark rooms where cornered screams could not escape
no
no one but me
and
no one but you
and
the worst part about this all is that...
when I wake up in the morning
I'll still have to
call you
my
father....