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Torture from Me

It makes me sick to think that anyone could care for me
My sympathy is weakening and it wants to let go of everything I hold
Days like this,
Sometimes I’m scared I’ll erase myself again
I loath this desire to give in to that side of me
Because it is my opposite
I can feel it in me, my heart
I feel the hurt and I think I can grab it but, I never can
To throw it away for a day that needs it
If I could do that it would be a gift to me
Because even on those better days
I still feel the sucking away of my spirit

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