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only the sun that saw

By , Balderdash, IL
A bright Flash
Of colors more
No one else saw
The sun alone
saw the death of the girl
As she died alone
with out a family
a friend
but she remains
for she has died in her heart
She has died alone.





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JBfan4ever This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 5:54 am
 i like it a lot. the only thing is 1.the title is a little misleading it might have been more straight forward if it was only the sun saw. and 1 question are you planning on dying with the sun as your only witness?
 
still-a-novice said...
Jun. 7, 2010 at 4:03 pm

I know that it's not very good, but I was just wondering what you would think and what i should add so my better work is even better.

 

 
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