"this civil war inside me"

So here I am,
Tangled in my thoughts again,
Naive yet wise,
I can’t decide,
Between this civil war that lingers inside me,
My heart screams don‘t let go,
My head knows best yet hangs low,
Firmly whispering don’t follow,
Caught in this self-warfare I look to my soul,
Replaying the hurt I ever caused myself,
Each time I turned to my heart for help,
Do I end it all,
to prevent the heartbreak that follows such a blissful fall,
Or do I hold on tight
And wait till that day comes when I must feel the brutal bite,
Either way this heartache is inevitable,
If it ended now the pain would lessen,
I could save my self from a greater depression,
But of course,
Absentmindedly I fell,
Now this civil war has turned to a nuclear hell.