Unnamed Flame

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Lighter, lights her on fire, lights are on fire, with a smaller flame the passion’s just the same, just as strong, strength, the way we’re liftin weight of the world, dropped in pain, pain-t and Wayne paintings display the world in pain, that girl in flames, a whirl wind phase. Nothing makes sense, always felt empty so full of mistakes, broken, she bakes in the heat left to fade in defeat. Lost a name once you’re beat, charred like black coal, bars black and cold, left torn, old clothes, old, close.





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This article has 16 comments. Post your own now!

Swiwi17 said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm
I just got about 4 new poems up. I would appreciate it if you'd take the time to read, Comment and even rate them? I'd like to know if I"m really any good. Thanks so much!
 
Meganchrisitne replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 10:07 pm
You're about as good as you believe you are.. Keep writing Don't lose hope even if no one comments
 
Swiwi17 said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Thank you all so much, your comments mean a lot to me.

It's better to get opinions from people without any personal connection with you.

 
ComA_White said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm

This is very unique! I really like it. You have some good emotion in there, as well as a great imagination, and great thinking.

Good job! :)

 
Swiwi17 replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 5:44 pm
I just got about 4 new poems up. I would appreciate it if you'd take the time to read, Comment and even rate them? I'd like to know if I"m really any good. Thanks so much!
 
Supernova7 said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I loved it:) It was very emotional and descriptive nice work:)
 
Swiwi17 replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm
I just got about 4 new poems up. I would appreciate it if you'd take the time to read, Comment and even rate them? I'd like to know if I"m really any good. Thanks so much!
 
kristin19 said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 11:31 am
THAT WAS GREAT. (:
 
Swiwi17 replied...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Thanks girl
 
FlyWithMe_899 said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 11:26 am
yes yes:)) i sense the imagination n i feel the expressiveness in this, like the comment below:) i totally loved ur word choice^^ it was a very emotional piece, good workk
 
Swiwi17 replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I just got about 4 new poems up. I would appreciate it if you'd take the time to read, Comment and even rate them? I'd like to know if I"m really any good. Thanks so much!
 
SnehaChatterjee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 2:43 am
Gr8 sense of imagination, expressions n thinking, simply awesome!
 
Swiwi17 replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I just got about 4 new poems up. I would appreciate it if you'd take the time to read, Comment and even rate them? I'd like to know if I"m really any good. Thanks so much!
 
ILikePersonificaition said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 2:11 am
your use of word play is stupendous, I love the way you do this. The way you move from one sound to another while simultaneously evolving your idea is incredible. this is one of the best poems I've read on here, I want to read more!!!
 
MadAsAHatter... replied...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Wow, I love it, I love the unusual way the words flow together. It's unique. You are very talented.
 
Swiwi17 replied...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 5:44 pm
I just got about 4 new poems up. I would appreciate it if you'd take the time to read, Comment and even rate them? I'd like to know if I"m really any good. Thanks so much!
 
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