I lose a breath...

April 22, 2010
By Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD, Douds, Iowa
Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD, Douds, Iowa
15 articles 9 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hello Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o," -friends
"Stop saying that!! My name ain't Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o!!" -Me
"Okay, fine, Hello Cat."-friends
(GRRRRR)
----Also----
"You a turtle on steroids!"-friends
"Hahaha, I know" -ME


I lose a breath,
A minute of my life
When I see your eyes,
Come upon mine.
They always seem warm,
Even when sadness is in your emotions
However, I seem not to care
Your love is the only motion.
I love to feel my chest pump violently
Even though I know, half of it is yours,
Even though I see
You are on your own.
This saddens me deeply
With no doubt,
Nevertheless, I shall wait
Until you shall noticed,
I am your heart.
Moreover, we will be together.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Jun. 10 2010 at 6:52 pm
Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD, Douds, Iowa
15 articles 9 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hello Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o," -friends
"Stop saying that!! My name ain't Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o!!" -Me
"Okay, fine, Hello Cat."-friends
(GRRRRR)
----Also----
"You a turtle on steroids!"-friends
"Hahaha, I know" -ME

okay, I'll work on it some more.  thanks.  I love to get critism.  It makes my writing stronger, an me as a person.

on Jun. 10 2010 at 4:53 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments

This is very nice... I especially liked the lines "I love to feel my chest pump violently/even though I know, half of it is yours"

some advice: change the line "However, I seem not to care". It just doesn't seem to fit, especially because it is told from first person


on Jun. 10 2010 at 2:29 pm
--LoveHappens--, Fairfield, Connecticut
0 articles 0 photos 343 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway"

Aww this sis soooo I love it... It makes me smile when i read it and the word choice it great. Keep it up


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